Sean and I had to make a ridiculously hard decision this weekend: we were offered a puppy. It's actually taken it's toll on us, physically and mentally. Before you start thinking "um, dude, don't you want a puppy? isn't that what this entire blog is about?", let me explain!
Sean and I went to see some breeders back in November. My books had suggested visiting a couple of breeders before you REALLY finalize what breed you want. We got to visit with adult cavaliers and puppies. Visiting adult dogs is great because you can really see what to expect (puppies are only puppies for so long. They are adults for much longer). I actually found visiting with puppies much more difficult. I mean, they're puppies! They lick you and have tiny little paws and faces, and little baby yawns and itty bitty jumps, and teeny tiny barks and BIG eyes that just melt your heart! How can you not want to take all of them home and have a big snuggle pile?
So when arranging visits to see both adults and puppies, I made sure none of the puppies were available. Sean is much more level-headed than I am. I try to act with a level-head but I feel the reprecussions emotionally for much longer so it is hard not to let my emotions get involved. This was the only way I could visit with puppies.
We went to see this one breeder with a litter of 4 puppies, two boys, two girls. The breeder wanted to keep back one of the girls (pretty much standard) and the other would go to a couple who had been waiting two years for a puppy. The breeder hadn't yet decided which girl she would keep, and she still hasn't. The couple who had been waiting for a puppy, decided they didn't want to wait for the breeder to decide (which really, it was only a month longer, what is the big freakin' deal?). We were then offered one of these females. Decision time.
I wanted to act on emotion and get the puppy. Both of these girls were the sweetest little puppies. Very gentle and calm. One of them even curled up on my lap and napped while her siblings played around her (and sometimes on her). They were both beautiful black and tans, my colour preference. And, do we really need to go over how adorable puppies are?! But my brain (and Sean) knew there were certain things to consider. We had wanted to get my disability claim resolved before getting a puppy. We really wanted to get me back to work, at least teaching one 40 minute period a week. I had wanted to do more research. Yes, more! I spent 6 months thoroughly researching my car before buying it. This is a physical being we are bringing into our family! This isn't a decision to make on a whim. I have to look into puppy-proofing, training classes, vaccinations, spaying, etc. I wanted to "borrow" my cousin's cavalier for the weekend to make sure we were ready for this resposibility.
At the same time, my heart was screaming for us to get the puppy. She would've been house-trained. She was my favourite colour (and Sean's second). She was sweet. She was a sure-thing. She was perfect...
In the end, it came down to one thing: Roxie. Our cats are our babies. We picked up Roxie from a shelter when she was just an 8-week old kitten. We just went to look at the shelter but when we found Roxie, we just knew, she was meant to be in our family. But Roxie, has some health issues. Even at 8 weeks, she had this little pot-belly. Our vet was convinced she had worms; tested again and again, but she didn't. Now that Roxie is 3 years old, 22 pounds, we know that she has some hormonal issues causing her to be a big girl. She has a kind of feline herpes. She has asthma. Recently, Roxie stopped eating. The vet suspected pancreatitis. Roxie also started losing control of her bladder (like say if her sister jumped out at her, she would pee or if our niece tried to pet her, she would pee). Vet suspected her bladder or even kidney's were infected. After several months of this, Roxie is starting to get back to normal, but she isn't better yet. What would happen if we introduced a puppy when she isn't well yet? The bottom line: our girls, our current babies, our loves: they are our first priority. We made the commitment to them. It isn't fair or right to make a commitment to another animal and break the promise we already made to Roxie. The promise to care for and love that puppy would be meaningless. I don't want to be that person. I couldn't live with that.
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